So Ben. That guy that almost ran my friend and I over the other night that I wrote about previously… Yup, went out with him…
Ben texted me Thursday saying, “I know it’s short notice, but would you be up for dinner tonight?” I was with another friend and we were just wrapping up lunch and I thought, “Why not?” I replied, “I would love too!” We then proceeded to make plans to meet at 7pm at a nearby restaurant.
To be honest, I was excited. Usually I have a few days to convince myself that a first date would be a bad idea and that I should just cancel. But this time, I just had a few hours to dwell and not a lot of time to convince myself that this would be a horrible experience.
I arrived promptly at 7pm and we were seated right away. There was no awkwardness. We were laughing and talking and having a great time asking each about work, friends, family, etc. He seemed down to earth and normal and not too crazy. For dessert, we split a slice of cheesecake. Super cute, I know.
But wait for it…
Right as I’m having my last bite of cheesecake, Ben drops a bomb… “I’m in a relationship.”
I would have loved to see what my face looked like at this point.
First awkward pause of the night…
He then goes on to explain that he wanted to be honest with me. He’s been in a relationship for 5 years that he is very happy with (obviously not) but that he had such a great time with me that he wanted to also see me and asked if I would be ok with that. As he is explaining this to me, he gets more and more nervous and less smiley because obviously this is not going as he hoped.
Again, I would have loved to see what my face looked like as he is telling me all this.
Another awkward pause as he waits for me to respond.
My first question to him was, “If you are in a relationship, why did you come find me at the bar?” My mind is thinking that he really is either unhappy, or he does this sort of thing all the time.
His response was that he hadn’t ever done anything like that before, and he had thought he would just sit down for one drink and say “hi” and leave, but that we connected so well that he didn’t want to leave and wanted to get to know me more…
My next question: “Does your girlfriend know that you’re out with me right now?”
He looks down, gets super nervous and responds, “Well… no.”
I’ve had enough at this point. I told him that I wouldn’t be okay with this at all. He replied that he understood but to call him if I changed my mind. He paid for dinner and walked me to my car. At my car he tried to hug me but I just put my hand out to shake his hand and thanked him for dinner and said good night.
This whole story makes me laugh! Of all the baggage he could have dropped, him being in a relationship was the last thing I would have expected him to say. At least he was upfront about it. It does make for a good story that me and my girlfriends can laugh about!
The next day, I received a text from him. He said, “I had a really wonderful time with you last night. Please keep in touch and let me know if you change your mind.”
I can promise you I won’t.